An Ode Reversal

Recently, a flunky of mine, Kim, wrote an ode to me on her own, lesser known blog. (Which you can check out at http://reflections-on-chaos.blogspot.com/ if you feel like slumming.)

At that point I realized that although I'm adored by all who know me, my friends adore me most of all. Only a complete douchebag could take all of these accolades without returning a few of his own. To that end, I'm going to to 4 rapid updates in a row comprised of odes to my greatest 4 fans. Why cut it down to so few people when I have hundreds to choose from? Because even though I love wasting my free time to entertain you ingrates, even I have limits. To make this easier on everyone, I took the people I'm going to Australia with as the subjects of my writing. I also took Kim, but only because she Ode'd me first.

So to start us off.....


An Ode to Kim

It's almost too easy to write an ode to Kim, as her ode-able qualities are many. I could easily think of thousands of points to make regarding Kim, but since she only listed several of mine in her blog, I'll only do the same for her.

1) Kim Can Shirk Responsibility

People are reading this right now thinking to themselves, "That Steve! He's already become insulting on the first point." That really couldn't be any farther from the truth. In my mind, being able to be irresponsible once in awhile is what makes someone fun. Kim's a serious worker in a seriously boring field, but she'll always be up for going out for drinks, inciting minor riots, and even the occasional karaoke night. In fact, I can honestly say that if it wasn't for Kim, I would never throw karaoke parties at all. She's the one most into the whole thing.
Most of the accountants I know are lame, boring, and anal retentive irritants. Kim may be lame (and also pretty anal retentive,) but she can hold her liquor and is always up for a good time.


2) Kim May, In Fact, Be Evil

If you're reading this blog, you're probably well aware that evil rocks. For example, Metal beats Folk music, Dracula is one classy s.o.b., Sandy from Grease was hotter after her transformation, and the Godfather is routinely is voted the greatest movie of all time. Well Kim can hold her own in the evil department. Her list of misdeeds are many: she broke my wrist, blew up my inflatable chair, stole A Walk to Remember from my little sister, was a business major, and has been observed to kick small animals and children. Heck, if you read Kim's blog you can feel the evil seeping from each post. Sounds pretty damn evil to me.


3) Kim Once Shot a Man in Reno, Just to Watch Him Die

I've got no real evidence on this one, but it sounds like something she'd do.


4) Kim is a Film Connoisseur

Some hacks will buy any old DVD that comes out and wind up with a collection of pure garbage, but not Kim. Only the finest movies earn a place on Kim's shelf. To date, this collection has been extremely discriminating. In fact, Kim has decided only 3 movies qualify for this lofty honour. One is the Sound of Music (chosen, no doubt, due to Kim's appreciation of the Nazis,) the other I can't remember, and the third is a Walk to Remember (this one only half counts as Kim doesn't actually own it. She just stole it from my sister.)
Larger society may not care for these films, deeming them to be "banal" or "crappy," but in this case society is wrong.


5) Kim is Totally a Thesbian

Back in the more carefree days of high school, my group of friends (hereafter refered to as the Clique) still had a sense of fun and adventure. This led us to creating cinematic masterpieces as school projects. These projects would never have existed without Kim. (They also wouldn't have existed with a whole bunch of other people who did an awesome job on these, but this is an ode to Kim.) I believe that I can safely state that these films were the peak of Kim's life, and her talent shows. Kim has a long history of playing villians, meglomaniacs, and middle-aged men. I daresay I have never seen anyone but Kim truly capture the essence of Voltaire, Lenin, or that cruel unnamed factory foreman from the era of the Industrial Revolution.


6) Kim is Seriously Photogenic

Seriously, she should be a model or something.