Waiting For the Post

People are clamouring for more of Steve! Due to my busy life as a student / production assistant / HR File-working-guy / idol of millions, I have little time to work on my exceeding popular blog, (a random survey conducted by your's truly has revealed that 100% think my blog is ridiculously awesome. Since I'm a sociology major, this survey totally has merit.)

I can promise my fans that I'll post something special for ya'll after my birthday next week. I've got friends in town and several rocking plans going down, so there should be something worth writing about in that mess.

What can you do in the meantime? Well, here's a few helpful hints:

1) Read a Book! I have it on good authority that reading is funadmental. If you've already read every book in existance, try teaching someone else to read! Over 77% of Canadians are illiterate (probably) and teaching one to read is greatest gift of all! (not counting getting Steve an awesome birthday gift. Hit your local stores now!)

2) Watch Arrested Development now available on DVD! It's the best show ever crafted by man.

3) Write a letter to your local govermental representative! As a Canadian citizen, it's not only your right, but your sacred duty to complain!

4) Rock Out! Turn on Freebird really loud and air guitar while dancing like a goon. Extra points if you do this while driving.

5) Play with a bouncy ball! I spent, like, 3 hours playing with a ball today! Seriously, I was giggling like a school-girl with that thing. It was the most fun I've had in years.

6) Start a cult! High school kids are insecure and easily led. Gather a few and hold some parties worshipping spacemen! You'll be the toast of the town!

7) Drink! Time flies when you're drunk!

8) Get a job! Usually I don't support working for "The Man," but in this case you can secretly join Corporate America to bring it down from the inside. Then you can use the money you make to buy me a wicked cool birthday present!

9) Contemplate suicide! Crank up Dashboard Confessional and write some really angsty poetry! I'll post any depressing poems that people send in to me. Just email me at smellslikerubber@hotmail.com. It's your duty to write bad teenage poetry so I can laugh at you.

10) Post a comment on my blog! I have a few regular posters, (you rock Kim!) but when only 2 or 3 out of a million readers post, it makes me a little outraged!

Hopefully this'll keep you busy for 10 days or so!